The Blackout
by Too Young to Feel This Tired
Summary: The old man said time travelling could break his mind. Luckily, he had Vanya to put it back together. Vanya/Five, M for smut


**Title: The Blackout**

**Summary: The old man said time travelling could break his mind. Luckily, he had Vanya to put it back together. Vanya/Five, M for smut**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Umbrella Academy**

* * *

There was darkness all around him. He felt like he got sucked into the keyhole which were his jumps, but never got out. There was nothing, only pitch black dark everyone including inside him.

He heard someone screaming. It was raw like someone was ripped into pieces while he was shouting his lungs out in pure horror and agony. He wanted to cover his ears away from the sound, but he felt like he couldn't.

'Five, it's okay,' he heard a soft and melodic voice come through all the screaming. It was impossible. How could he hear it with how profoundly loud was the screaming?

Then, it was like the room was lightened up and he found himself looking into concerned brown eyes.

'It's okay. I'm here. You're okay,' said the owner of those brown eyes and he closed his mouth realizing he was the one who was screaming like he was butchered alive.

He felt his heart was about to jump out of his chest and like he couldn't breathe properly. Something freaked him out.

_Where the hell was he? Why was he here? _

The woman's face was close. She was carefully stroking his cheek and hair. Her hands felt wonderfully cold against his hot skin calming him down. She had almost a magical touch with the way he felt himself easing up around her. It had been so long since he was touched like that, with care, not in a violent fight, or because of some great calculative move to control him like with his Handler.

It took him a moment but he realized who she was. Of course he realized who she was. He had been carrying around a picture from her book for almost five decades. The picture of her as an adult looking all grownup expect the little almost invisible smile he adored so much as a little boy.

He reached his hand and touched her cheek, 'V-vanya.'

'It's alright. It was just a dream,' she said and leaned down to kiss his forehead. Her kiss was light like a feather, but he felt it spreading from his forehead to the rest of his body making it come alive.

Five let out a sob which sounded like a hiccup. He was so confuse, 'Wh-what's going on?'

He wasn't support to be here. He was working for the Commission. He was on another mission for them. He had been secretly working to find a way back to stop the apocalypse, but he was still missing one finale piece. Why was he here?

_Kennedy_.

And then...and now, and now he was here.

He looked up at Vanya again. Vanya, who was older, an adult, not the thirteen year old girl he left behind. She brushed his cheek again looking at him with love, care and concern. Something no one did in over last forty and something years. And even before she was the only one who looked at him like that. She was the only one who made him feel like that.

'Vanya, how-?'

'It's okay,' she said, her voice so soft and pure even if older, 'This happened before. Just breath, alright?' she asked and shifted a bit to lay down next to him on what appeared to be a bed, in a room he didn't recognize.

Five followed her example laying down on his side facing her as her palm softly caressed his cheek. It felt easier to breath when he was looking at her.

'Nice, and steady,' she said and he couldn't help but got lost in her big brown eyes always so wide open watching everything around her even if she wanted to hid her face from everyone under her bangs when they were kids.

He felt his heartbeat slowing down little by little with every breath he took, his mind accepting all the things around him. He was in bed with a grownup Vanya from the picture on the book, in a room he didn't recognized and he was younger again not boyish young, but younger. He could feel his knees weren't hurting so much and his hand which was holding onto Vanya's shoulder for dear life also wasn't one of an old man.

'Tell me,' he mumbled as he dared himself to speak.

Vanya sat up and he very slowly followed, 'We're in our apartment. This happened to you a couple of times before. Let's go breath some air and I will explain everything, alright?'

He watched her. Years of solitude and life for the Commission taught him to be detached, reserved, but this was _Vanya_. Vanya, who he had been looking for since he found his siblings, Vanya with her sweet smile and caring heart and eyes hiding intelligence and fondness, he adored so much.

He found himself nodding and the woman took his hand pulling him from the bed with her. He didn't fail to notice the lack of pants on her part as she was only dressed in a large t-shirt and panties.

She led him through the small kitchen to the living room and then to the balcony, which was mostly just a fire escape.

Once he was outside it was incredibly easier to breath. He took a deep breath filling his lungs with fresh air before he looked down over the ladders seeing a full grown city in front of him. City which was still standing. It was morning, the sun was just coming up, but it was obviously the city was alive and full of light and people and he felt overwhelmed again.

'Hey, look at me,' said Vanya touching his arm as she must have felt him slipping into his panic again.

He did as she said. She was breathtaking. He realized now painfully more than ever that she was amazing and caring and everything he ever wanted and...he _left_ her.

'Please explain this-'

'You came back from the future to stop the apocalypse, but failed,' she explained brushing his arm in a calming manner. She must have done this before, 'Then you went back to the time were thirteen to actually stop it and stopped it. It's been over fourteen months since the apocalypse was supposed to happen. You have a theory that because you jumped in time too many times and relived everything filling your brain with too many memories of the same events, you sometimes get these blackouts. When that happens your mind takes you back to before you first came back, to your last mission for the Commission, but that was over eighteen years ago. You have been back for over eighteen years, do you understand?' she asked and he felt like shaking his head and arguing that this couldn't be right because he couldn't just not remember all of this, but Vanya easily took his face between her palms, 'Five. This happened before. It usually takes a couple of hours and then you remember everything which happened after you left Commission, trust me, okay?'

He let out a very long breath and closed his eyes. If Vanya knew about the Commission it had to be true. He couldn't imagine her lying to him. He trusted her enough to tell her about them and his mission. He lived with her and...and apparently was intimate with her...he had to trust her a lot.

He put his hands over hers.

'How old am I? Physically?'

'Thirty-one,' said Vanya, 'When you came back you were thirteen again.'

He took it all in, 'How often does this happen?'

Vanya smiled at him softly. When they were kids she rarely smiled. She was always forced to be isolated from them all by their father which caused her great sorrow feeling left out, useless, ordinary. Something his father often used to shot her down just like he used calling him stupid and foolish to shot him down. The old man had very good idea what would cause his children individually the most pain.

'This would be the sixth time over the years,' she told him, 'It comes randomly although you think it's connected with the Commission. That maybe every time something is happening which was directly altered by your missions your mind gets this amnesia about what happened after you ran from them.'

He thought about it, listening to his own words coming from her mouth.

'Guess the old man was right about more than just the possibility of getting stuck,' he said bitterly not thrilled at all about the idea that Monocle was right about another thing. But he was. He told Five time travelling could messed him up. Apparently it did even if just a bit.

He cursed under his breath, and she let go of his face. He immediately felt the absence of her touch and longed for her to touch him again.

'I got something which might help,' she said and stood up, 'Well, _you_ got something.'

She disappeared into the apartment through the opened window as he looked outside. He was silently looking down at the city slowly waking up. He was back. He was back and from what she told him, he was back for good and for a while now and everything was alright.

She peaked outside and handed him a notebook, 'After the third time you wrote yourself some key information for next time.'

He took the book from her hand lightly brushing his fingers against hers, 'I will make breakfast.'

He watched her leave again, but remained calm telling himself that she only went to the small kitchen area they passed on the way from the bedroom.

His eyes went to the book in his hand for a moment before he gathered all his curiosity and courage and opened it and immediately getting struck by the first words like lightening.

_First and most important thing you need to know about the blackouts. You love Vanya without a single doubt, and for some unknown reason she loves you back. She already has to put up with a lot of this, so don't add more to her plate by being a bigger asshole than you are. You love her and she loves you back. Don't blow this for yourself._

He reread those words over and over again before she swallowed hard and looked over at the woman inside the apartment as she was preparing breakfast.

Well, obviously a lot had happened since he came back.

* * *

When he came back through the window, Vanya had put on pants much to his disappointment. He watched her silently as he came to sit in front of the round table where she already put on a plate with eggs and bacon.

When she put down his mug of coffee he closed his eyes in bliss taking in the wonderful smell of fresh coffee finally accepting that it was all real a little bit more.

'Can I ask you about some things?' he said as he started to eat.

Vanya gave him that typical sweet smile of hers, the one he secretly craved to see all those years he was alone without her, 'Of course. You usually ask.'

'What about the others? Where are they now?'

Vanya took her mug, 'Allison and Luther are in Los Angeles because of Claire. Allison has shared custody with her ex husband. You said you knew about Claire-'

'From your book,' he said and she nodded slowly, 'I didn't write it the second time though. Diego is here in the city. He got into the police academy this time and managed to finish it, so he's a detective now. Klaus and Ben are here as well. They live together. Klaus is sober for almost five years. He got a lot of new powers. Ben started to see this girl from the art gallery. She's a bit younger than us, but really nice,' said Vanya fondly about all of her siblings. She elaborated some of the things painting a nice picture of their siblings which he was sure wasn't the one that they had the first time around. In Vanya's book it sounded like they all fell apart. It was good to know they managed to make it right the second time.

'What about us? We share an apartment,' he said and saw her cheeks flush for a moment before she smiled embarrassed, 'We do.'

He looked around, 'There's only one bed.'

She rolled her eyes, 'Yes, there is because we're dating.'

He grinned at her feeling his face going hot as well. He read it in his notes as well as guessed it from how they woke up in one bed, but it still felt different to actually hear her admit it.

'Why?'

'Because you love me and I love you the same,' she said in a heartbeat speeding his up.

He swallowed a bit, 'So you put up with this. The amnesia?'

'It's not so bad. It happens rarely and like I said I love you.'

He shook his head still having trouble even with his clever mind to process and accept it, 'How can you? Why?'

She stood up suddenly and made him look at her by lifting his chin toward her, 'I just do. No equations or formulas to explain it, Five. It's just what the heart wants.'

He looked at her like she's something else. Like he always looked at her. To others she was the ordinary sister in their family. Always meant to be taken as someone who wasn't truly a part of their family. Not to him though. To him she was just Number Seven and then Vanya and then the only person who mattered.

As she was looking down at him he suddenly couldn't take it anymore and stood up grabbing her by the shoulders. In his life he only ever kissed two women. Dolores and the Handler during the night he would rather erased from his mind and the history all together. Unlike the two emotionless and cold kisses of those two, Vanya's kiss was real and alive and when he sloppily pressed his lips against hers she without a hesitation put her arms around his neck deepened the kiss stealing his breath and thoughts away and leaving him only with the feeling of her soft lips against his.

His hands moved to her back supporting her as she stood up on her toes to reach him. In his thirty-one years he was quite taller than her. Something which must have been thanks to a better and healthier lifestyle which he had the second time his body was growing.

Vanya broke the kiss first and looked up at him with a soft smile.

'Do I always do that when I have these blackouts?' he asked and she giggled. It was a magical sound.

'Every single time,' she admitted before she rose on her toes again and kissed him this time her right hand going into his hair pulling it a bit as he let his tongue brush the opening of her lips before she let it in. Kissing Vanya was like quicksand, it slowly consumed it entirely before there was no way out, even if he wanted to. But he didn't.

'I love you,' he said with his voice hoarse, 'I loved you since we were kids.'

Talking about his feelings, words, were never his strong suit, but he had to say this. If it all turned out to be a dream or illusion of the mind, he had to tell her now or never.

She gave him to most beautiful smile he ever saw even if all her smiles were like that, 'I know and me too.'

She took his hand and let him away from the table, the breakfast forgotten. Vanya took him to the bedroom and closed the door. He was sure his heart would burst out of his chest any moment as he watched her slowly turn around to face him. Her face looking so calm because apparently she did this with him plenty of times, while he couldn't remember any of them.

He put his hands on her cheeks and kissed her trying to burn the feeling of having their lips and tongue move against each other into his brain. He dreamed of this every single night as he was growing up without her. He dreamed he would come back home to her and would figure it all out and be with her. He dreamed he would have the courage to tell her how he felt and be with her, and if this really was true, than he did.

Her hands wandered through his neck to his chest going slowly lower and lower until she let them under his t-shirt and started to slowly lift it up. It was so slow, he almost missed it until she broke the kiss letting his lips blindly seek hers only to have the clothing pull over his head. He helped her get it off since she wasn't tall enough even when she stood on her toes.

She looked so calm, loving and _confident _while he felt like his hands were sweating worst than ever.

_Damn it._

She smiled a bit before she took at her own shirt and pulled it out revealing what he already noticed outside when they were sitting on the fire escape. She had no bra. He was momentarily frozen in place staring at her without the ability to speak. She was drop dead beautiful.

Five took a half step closer only to stop hesitantly.

She took his hand and placed it on her shoulder. Her skin was soft just like everything about her. She felt soft, when he thought of Vanya it was like thinking about soft colours. Breathtaking, beautiful and so pure.

His fingers slowly touched her neck and he felt the small shiver which ran through her. It returned a bit of his courage to know he caused this. He let his fingers stroke her neck before they moved lower through her chest to breast where he slowly let them over her nipple hypnotized by all of her body. If this was all just a dream he will happily sleep for eternity.

'You're so beautiful. You always were.'

She kissed him again and moved him to the bed. He sat down with her on top of his legs. Her hair fell to his shoulders and neck as they kissed tickling him.

He lifted her a bit making sure she wouldn't fall backwards as she kissed him again pulling at his lower lip while her hands went into his pants and boxers which were slowly becoming too tight.

'Vanya,' he gasped as she grabbed him into her hand.

They kissed again and he started to get lost in the sensation of her hand before he pushed it away, 'I won't last if you keep doing that.'

She smiled against the kiss, 'But it's fun seeing you all workedup for once.'

'Yeah, well, confidence suits you,' he told her before he rolled with her landing her on her back her giggle echoed through the room.

Five pushed a couple of pieces of hair away before he processed to kiss her, her lips, her neck where he found the spot which made her moan, her breasts and stomach.

He tugged down her panties once again getting lost in the sight of her. Did he ever gotten used to it? To knowing he could see her like this ever day? That she was his to take? Only his?

He leaned down and marked her thighs with nibbled kissed which caused small hickeys all over her alabaster skin. He fell in love to the noises she made when he reached between her legs, kissing and sucking and getting familiar with the smell and taste of her in her rawest form. He was always a curious soul, and he wondered if the other him which had already done all this, also felt the need to learn all those little things which made her tick. Things which made her let out that throaty animalistic groan, and bit her lip almost causing it to bleed before she cried out his name.

When she came down from her high, she pulled him back up raising her brows and pointing at his pants. He pulled them away as fast as possible along with his underwear. He felt himself almost leaking from how much he wanted her.

As he positioned between her legs he hesitantly looked into her brown again expecting some sort of confirmation all of the sudden as if her taking him to the bedroom and stripping in front of him or making him eat her out wasn't enough.

She shook her head with amusement clear in her eyes as she dragged him for another kiss helping him guide himself into her entrance. Time seemed to stop as he first felt the sensation of her warm walls around him. -

She stroke his hair lovingly and looked at him, 'Still with me, Five?'

It took him a moment to compose himself enough to nod. Once again he realized that for her this wasn't new. This was something they did often. Maybe even the night before he had another blackout while for him it was all so overwhelming and amazing. This was him and this was Vanya, and all together this was everything he had been dreaming off in his lonely nights while exploring himself for the first time. He had imagined how she must have sound like and felt like as he jerked himself off crying out her name and then crying for real because he wanted to see her again so _badly_.

'I love you,' he whispered and she kissed him again before she leaned toward his ear and whispered back, 'Then show me.'

He felt a shiver run through his body as he started to slowly move inside her. It was out of this world or any world for that matter. The sensation was impossible to put to words and he cursed himself again and again for being such an idiot and leaving her.

Their moans, groans and soft cries filled the room as they were both slowly but surely losing themselves to the sensation growing inside each of them.

He was barely comprehending anything else expect the sensation. He thought he felt her fingers sharply digging into his back and shoulder and as he pressed his teeth against her shoulder he was almost sure he bit her, but the sensation swallowed all that away and left nothing, but the most amazing feeling of high in the world before he collapsed carefully on top of her making sure he didn't hit her.

He closed his eyes slowly coming down from his feeling of absolute bliss while muttering soft words into his neck, she was stroking his hair.

In that moment, just like that, it all came rushing back to him. His time travelling to eight days before the apocalypse and failing, then the second time with all his siblings to the time of their childhood, helping Vanya with her powers, fixing their family and changing the history.

He leaned away to look at her again, 'I love you.'

'I love you too, and welcome back,' she said while letting her index finger slowly make a line through his cheek.

'It was a _very_ nice welcome,' he told her and smirked.

She chuckled. He loved seeing her so happy. He loved her.

'I wanted to make it special.'

'You're special.'

They watched each other for a moment loving gazing into each others' eyes before he leaned back down and kissed. The blackouts were annoying, but as long as Vanya was willing to deal with them, with him. They weren't so bad.

* * *

**A.N: Hey guys, this came to me literally today so I had to write it down before I would lost it. There isn't enough Vanya/Five smut out there so here is a some reason I was playing with the idea in my head that these two could have Time traveler´s wife fanfiction. What do you think?  
**

**Hope you like it **

**Enjoy**


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